i wonder if i am just being self-indulgent.

i wonder if i'm holding on to the ashes of what was once a beautiful dream.

i wonder if i'm holding on to it because the loneliness of not having it, is better than the emptiness of not having anything at all.

being in this place was never good for my mental health or my soul. there's too much here. too tightly packed. too much emotions. too many negatives. it's foul, oppressive and nauseating.

i sincerely hope i am still in a good place at the end of my time here.